Yesterday was the worst Christmas day I've ever had to experience. Normally each christmas we're in Australia with my mum's side of the family who we are close to and are totally normal and loving and we have the best time. But this year my Dad decided we'd spend christmas with his mother so we came over to New Zealand. We booked the holiday even before we found out about her cancer. And so this christmas was going to be even more meaningful and special then we first thought. It wasn't so.

We went to stay with my Nana the few days before christmas. My Nana can be quite difficult to live with. One example is that she'd planned all these huge meals to have every lunch and dinner. The meals would talke about 2 hours to preparet, 15 minutes to eat and 2hrs to clean up. It was very tiring and because my Nana is sick we had to do all of it. It was alot of work to keep my Nana happy. On christmas Eve my Dad spent 2 hrs making lunch how my Nana wanted it and when we sat down to have a 'family' lunch my nana conveiniently ended up on the phone to whole time. My Dad brushed it aside. Throught out our stay thought my Nana has been milking her sickness for everything it's worth. So it hasn't been all too fun. Yesterday came to a head.

Yesterday was the big christmas lunch and my nana spent 6 hours preparing it. 6 whole hours. And do you want to know what she did??? It was suppose to be a family lunch whre we sit and have it together. We'd all sat down and filled our plates with food and were about to start eating. My Nana stands up and announces that She hs to call her own mother on the phone right that very second. This made my Dad so angry and he lost it. He yelled at her to sit down and spend some time with her grandkids. This was the last day we'd ever see her probably before she dies and she didn't even care about it. My Nana went off anyway to talk on the phone. When my Nana came back she started the worst argument and it was the most horrible thing in the world. The accusations started and I felt my heart break. We'd done so much for my Nana and she didn't even care. She couldn't appreciate what we'd been through to get there. It was so upsetting. my Nana was crying and yelling and my Dad was yelling. My dad felt so bad about taking us away from our loving family at home where we'd have a nice christmas to my nana's house where things were horrible. I really wanted my Dad to stop yelling. But the thing that broke my heart was when my Dad asked my Nana about moments my Nana had treated us bad and she couldn't say sorry. She came up with excuses as to why it was like that. She gave excuses as to why wee had been left in the cold. I lost respect for my Nana. My nana's husband who I was complaining about in the last post...well....I totally take back everything I said about him. My Nana likes to pull out the sympathy votes and make it out that he's so evil. Well he's not evil. He was the nicest person to have around yesterday in amoungst it. He was trying to calm everyone down at the table and when he did that my Nana started putting the finger at him and yelling. Poppa was doing the right thing. Then my Nana was so nasty and said that the last 7 years of her marriage to poppa had been hell. I got so angry and I realiazed at that moment that my Nana is as much to blame as poppa if not more for there failing marriage. Poppa was totally nice to us during our stay while my Nana was the biggest drama queen.

Anyway all us kids at the table were very upset and my Mum told us to walk to the park. We went to the park and we cried the whole way. This day would be our last memory of our Nana. My Dad came to find us after awhile and we had a long talk. The way my Nana has treated my Dad made me so angry. She always played favourites with my Dad's younger brother and when my Dad's yonger brother died and they were at the morge together...my Nana was wailing and saying 'my favourite son is dead, my favourite son is dead!'. This was while her two other sons were there also grieiving. She's evil. We went back to my Nana's house and my dad said she'd still been ranting before he'd come to get us and asked us if we wanted to stay. We decided we didn't want to be there. We packed our bags and my Nana was pretending to be asleep the whole time and didn't even say good bye. How could you sleep after hurting the people closest to you and alienating them? We checked in to a crappy hotel and ended up having dinner at a service station. This was our christmas day. This was the day we'd worked so hard to spend with my Nana. I was so upset. I still feel upset. My heart hurts. Like I still love my Nana and I'm so sad that this could of happened. She didn't even care about us enough to say good bye to us.

Anyway I'm stil upset but the rest of our goliday we'll be travelling and having fun hopefully.

Anyway I'd better go. I hope you all had a better christmas!