Well last week was eventful. Not exactly good eventful. The worst thing was that I found out that my Nana was sick. My Nana has been over in Australia having tests as she has been having health problems and is in alot of pain. My Nana lives in New Zealand but wasn't getting any answers over there.

It turns out that my Nana has cancer of the Pancrias. This is the worst cancer to have and only 2% diagnosed survive past 5 years. It has already spread to her lymph nodes which means it's possible she's had it for awhile. We won't find out all the details and whether she'll have surgery or treatment or how much longer she has or any of the details until her doctors appointment this afternoon. It was quite a shock when I found out and I wasn't even meant to find out. My cousins who knew (who is on my Mum's side and not even related to my nana. my nana is on my Dad's side) seemed to know before I did. And then I found out on friday night that my Aunty had told pretty much everyone. This made me quite mad. My mum told my Aunty that we children didn't know yet. Yet she told the whole rest of the universe and it ticked me off. I was thinking 'she's my nana...you don't have anything to do with it and it's not your business to spread it.' I was hurt that I found out about this by them first and not by my mum or dad. That really sucked. And I think they are selfish.

Anyway the whole is sad. I also feel bad because she's quite a difficult person to live with and for ages we'd been windging and wishing she'd go home. But now I just feel bad and I don't want her to go permanently. I wish she'd stay here and get her treatment but then if she does then she might never be well enough to go back to New Zealand and say good bye to her Mum (yes my great grandma is still alive) and the people she loves over there and I think that is a really sad thing. But it's up to her I guess. If she wants to be with us before she goes or her brothers and sisters...then that's her decision.

I just wish is wasn't a decision she was forced to make at all.